Stop Looking for “Love”, Before You Start Learning to Love Yourself! Self Love Before Relationship Goals!
Have the Strength to Walk Away From People That Are Toxic to Your Heart & Soul. – Loveselfme
Toxic people are like “energy vampires”! They will drain your positive energy and leave you emotionally drained. And more importantly they will block your Path to Living a Happy “Drama-Free” Life! lf you think that you are dealing with a “Toxic Person”, hit the Door and RUN!
The emotional battle is not worth your time and/or effort to attempt to build a relationship and/or a connection with these individuals. In the end, they will only think about themselves–leaving you confused and feeling betrayed. Here’s 7 Signs to Spot a Toxic Person!
They like and need to compete with you or others to feel worthy and good about themselves. They will even go to they lengths of sabotaging others to feel victorious. This is not just “friendly competition” or comparing, their jealousy is set-in and cruel.
Toxic people will secretly provoke and antagonize others for their pure enjoyment. They like to insight Drama and confusion. And often they will used passive aggressive behavior as a form of “payback”.
It’s all about them. These “negative” souls must feel like they are in Control. Some of their tactics will be guilt-trips, insults, intimidation, manipulation; and even “bullying”. Also, they are willing to flat-out “lie” and tell untruths to keep control.
Toxic people are very Self-Centered and Selfish. They have an unhealthy, often delusional sense of self-worth. They build false friendships and relationships based on what they “think” they can get from people.
They never admit responsibility for their “negative” behavior. And will often times find a way to point the finger back at you and/or play the “victim”. If they do, take responsibility, it usually disingenuous–a “power move” to further their self-centered agenda.
Toxic people are often disingenuous and two-faced, playing the “game” to lure unsuspecting victims. They also like to protect their “image” and persona. Much like a con artist playing the part–hiding their true “self ” and agenda.
If you back toxic people up in a corner, perhaps you called them out on their behavior (and said enough is enough). They will use gifts, good deeds and “act nice” as a way to cover-up and hide their “negative” behavior. This is much like an abusive man (or woman) buying gifts after battering their partner–this is a “good deed”. Yet, the “giving” is not genuine. And it certainly doesn’t excuse their behavior.
These 7 Sings will help You Spot a Toxic Person. If you think you are dealing with a toxic person who has one or more of these Signs, Proceed with CAUTION!
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Black Love Edition: Celebrating and Promoting Black Love, Black Families and Children by teaching the Power of Self-Love!
Never chase after so-called “true love”! If the person truly wants to be with you, they will make an equal effort to be there. So many times in black families we see the opposite of this–I know I did growing up as a young black woman. Everyone was looking for love–even if it killed their mind, body and soul. They just wanted some form of love.
Sadly in “single-mom” black families the majority of us never see healthy relationships and/or family units. And often times we follow down the same “toxic’ path that we were expose to. Thinking that love hurts, comes with pain, and is filled with DRAMA!
It’s time to break this cycle of dysfunction and start teaching our children the importance of loving themselves first. And by giving them examples of positive and healthy black relationships. They shouldn’t have to “only” look up to celebrity black couples like Beyonce’ & Jay Z for inspiration. This source of inspiration should be more personal and up close–in their families and communities!
“I always felt like the black sheep, turns out I was always a White Dove.” – Loveselfme
Last week, I shared a helpful post on accepting your unique beautiful self. Check it out here! Today, I’m being inspired to touch on a much needed self-love topic–dealing with feeling like the “black sheep” of your family! Often times when people are different; especially from their own families–it’s easy to be seen as the outsider (and painfully pushed aside).
I was (and at times still do) feel like the “black sheep” in my family. Nobody in my family seemed to be able to see nor appreciate who I truly was–am. In my immediate family, I always felt misunderstood. You see I had many different views on how I wanted to live my life. Growing up in a working-class diverse area in Southwest Detroit, I didn’t want to be another “urban” statistic! I refused to become a stereotype.
I always wanted and dreamt of being MORE! And although, I never judged anyone else for the choices that they made in their lives. It appears that just having the attitude of “high-standards” for myself (or for even encouraging others to do the same) ousted me as an outcast! In essence, as a child and well into my young adult life, I spent a lot of time feeling alone–and just yearning to fit it (with my family or anybody for that manner).
As an older adult, I really had to come to terms and accept that I may not ever fit in with my family. I finally realize that I was NOT the “black sheep”; yet, a White Dove with different thoughts, and views on the world. You see I was never created to fit in! I AM called to be my Uniquely Beautiful Self!
Are you feeling like the “black sheep” in your family? Learn how to accept, heal and move on with your life!
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