With so many women that are ready to start practicing self-love. I can’t help to feel concerned that many people have some misconceptions about what self-love truly is. As I surf social media, I see many self-love campaigns geared toward inspiring women and young girls to start loving themselves better. And as a self-love advocate, I have to ask–Are we really teaching women how to love themselves or are we teaching more misconceptions of selfishness?
So, what is self-love? Perhaps it is best to start with what self-love is NOT!
1. Self-Love is Not a selfie.
Although we all love taking selfies of ourselves and sharing on social media tagged with #selflove, Self-Love is so much deeper than the outer surface. Self-Love starts from Within and shines OUT! You have to do the inner work to truly shine through. If you just focus on your beautiful selfie, you will never see the even MORE Beautiful SELF (soul) inside.
2. Self-Love is Not the Love of “self”.
Self-Love is not all about You. It’s all about learning to love yourself better . Not the love of “self” or being “self-centered”. There’s a difference. One comes from a place of Love and the other from “ego” fear. When you truly love yourself you see everything in creation as part of your whole Self. You treat all with love and respect.
3. Self-Love does Not Mean You are Being “selfish”.
So many people have the misconception that when one starts to love themselves better and set healthy boundaries, that they are somehow being selfish. Many women on their self-love journey can be made to feel guilty or that they are doing something wrong.
I know that was my experience with my personal family and friends. For some reason many of loved ones just couldn’t accept the “new me” that they seen as being selfish. Yet, I knew in my heart I wasn’t not coming from a place of selfishness. I still loved and cared about them all dearly. I was just no longer willing to accept being the only “giver” in the relationship. We all need well-balanced and healthy relationships in our lives. Just like in nature–there’s a healthy balance where all is supported and maintained. And it’s certainly not being selfish to “give” and also to “receive”.
True Self-Love is the love of Self that includes everyone and everything else. You do all from a place of love–not fear. You celebrate your own uniqueness and value–while respecting and celebrating the value and purpose everyone else brings to the table. Self-Love is not a weapon to use against or to control others. Self-Love starts with your own personal “self” and unites with the whole SELF as ONE!